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About Varied / Hobbyist Official Beta Tester Kendra24/Female/United States Groups :iconfrozen-writers: Frozen-Writers
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Artist | Hobbyist | Varied
United States

No Requests by SweetDukeGifts - Friends Only by SweetDukeTrades - Closed by SweetDukeCollaborations - Closed by SweetDuke
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Name: Kendra
Gender: Female
Age: 24
Hair color: Very dark brown/jet black
Eye color: Dark green
Religion: Christian

Shipping likes: AnnaxKristoff, Pokéshipping/AAML, Contestshipping, Penguinshipping, Rocketshipping, Ichihime, TsukunexMoka, HopexVanille, CloudxTifa, LinkxZelda, TohruxKyo, most anything canon
Shipping hates: Elsanna, AnnaxHans, ElsaxHans, ElsaxKristoff, JackxElsa, JackxAnna, HansxKristoff, Wreck-It-RalphxElsa, JasminexVolkner, Flight, Lightis, LightxCloud, LightxHope, LightxCaius, SerahxNoel, NxTouko, Advanceshipping, Pearlshipping, Negaishipping, SasukexSakura, Rock LeexSakura, Ulquihime
Other hates: Yaoi, yuri, incest, hentai, onions, spiders, trolls, flamers, drama
Deviant since Feb. 1, 2008


Journal Entry: Wed Apr 16, 2014, 9:22 PM
Skin by TMNT-Raph-fan

Note: There's a tl;dr version at the bottom.

Seriously, what is wrong with me?  I haven't slept good at all the last several days.  Plus, these nightmares I keep having, I hate them.  Also, every single night now I dream about Tiny, and I always dream that she's came back to life somehow, but yet I cry and panic and freak out because I don't know how long she's gonna be there before she dies again, and usually in the dreams I somehow know that she's gonna die again after a very short amount of time, perhaps within the same "day" in the dream.  I hate those dreams....

The last two nights however, I have not dreamed about Tiny.  Oh no...I'd rather have those dreams than what I dreamed the last two nights.  The first night, I dreamed mom and I were lying in bed during the day for whatever reason, and she was pointing out how the wall at our heads was haunted.  I knocked on the wall for whatever reason, and incited the wrath of the spirits and ghosts, cuz they then started making my back feel odd with sensations, like when someone or something scares you really bad and makes your heart stop and your whole body jump, that sensation, but it was really bad in my back, like they were trying to possess me and be mean, it lasted a few good seconds and I was panicking in the dream.  I actually woke up in a panic and was freaking out... I knew it was a dream, but I was so scared to go back to sleep, for fear of having that same dream again... I spent a good several minutes just praying to God to help me, and thankfully He gave me peace, and I didn't have the dream again when I went back to sleep.

Did I mention the dream took place in my bedroom?  The haunted wall being the one right at my head?  The head of my bed?  Yeeeeaaaahhh, plus mom had her own scary demonic experience in this very bedroom back when our house was still a single-wide trailer, before we built on, and this was her bedroom.  That's part of what really freaked me out too... Part of why I really had to do some hardcore praying, for fear that I was gonna have my own demonic experience like mom did...

As for last night, well, there's no way to describe the dreams really.  All I know, is I've been extra super dumb the last several days, and if I don't get a good night's sleep soon, idk what I'm gonna do...cuz I'm miserable...

Also, I'm leaving after school tomorrow to go to my dad's for the weekend.  First time getting to go since Christmas... It's sad, isn't it...?  Anyways, I'm taking my laptop and tablet with me, so I'll be around in the evenings for a short time.  I may still check dA throughout the day on my phone too.  It'll be a nice mini-vacation away from home, a break from things...

I swear, between the dreams and work and school and the sleep, and things, and still having trouble adjusting to my baby girl being....gone....I just can't stop being depressed... Also, I still feel as if I'm still losing friends... People just stop talking to me for no reason, and it saddens me greatly... I'm seriously upset and hurt... If there's a reason, please, please say so, so that any confusion or misunderstandings can be cleared up.  Otherwise, I'm gonna think you don't want me as a friend...or in general...

I'm still pretty upset that I haven't had time to work more on Frozen Enchantment, and I feel so bad for that too... I don't want you guys upset with me that I haven't updated in quite a while... Please, forgive me... Between Tiny's death and school and work and so many things, I just haven't had the time for anything... God knows my inbox here is still swamped, and stays that way... I'll get to it when I can though...

I guess that's about it... Sorry this is so super long guys... I'm just pretty sad and lonely anymore, and really super tired... I pray I'm wrong and that you guys are just busy with school and it being the end of the semester and year, but it'd still be nice for something to be said rather than just dropping off my radar without a word, leaving me to worry if something happened or if you're ok...or if I did something to offend or upset you... I'd really like to know please...

TL;DR: I've not been sleeping well due to nightmares, I'm going to my dad's this weekend, and I still feel like I'm losing friends and like people are ignoring me and not saying why.  So I'm tired, plagued with bad dreams, and depression and neglect.

  • Mood: Anguish

Journal History

Happy Valentine's Day! 

15 deviants said :heart:


Gonna say Happy Birthday here too hehehe. Happy Birthday!
Tue Apr 8, 2014, 5:52 PM
Can you give me your opinion on my Frozen fanfic?
Mon Jan 27, 2014, 3:38 PM
Thanks for watching me :icondragontail2:.
Thu May 16, 2013, 11:15 PM
Mon May 6, 2013, 4:29 AM
xD Also, more livestreams please!
Mon Apr 8, 2013, 4:45 PM
Happy birthday I hope it's been going well Kendra!
Mon Apr 8, 2013, 4:45 PM
Thanks! 8D =D
Mon Nov 12, 2012, 7:05 PM
Awesome new user name :V
Mon Nov 12, 2012, 6:46 PM
Thanks for the fave! >U< <333
Wed Oct 24, 2012, 11:17 PM
Thu Sep 13, 2012, 1:48 PM
WEEEEEEELLLL you make me wanna SHOUT!!!
Sun Aug 12, 2012, 6:43 PM
Sat Aug 11, 2012, 9:38 PM
Then let's bring it some more life! >3 *steals you before Carlie steals you again*
Fri Jul 6, 2012, 5:51 PM
Shout! Shout! Let it all out~
Fri Jul 6, 2012, 6:48 AM
Well it died again so.... >>;
Thu Jul 5, 2012, 9:24 PM
It may be dead, but I'll always bring life to it. ;;
Thu Jun 7, 2012, 9:08 PM
God, really dead shoutbox...
Sun Apr 29, 2012, 7:28 PM
*lovingly miens*
Sat Mar 10, 2012, 10:52 PM
G-gah no!!!
Wed Feb 29, 2012, 6:37 PM
...vuv Now that your Subbie is back~, guess who's gonna STEAL his sis? *STEALS!* >3 MIEN!
Mon Feb 27, 2012, 10:38 PM


Add a Comment:
KtObermanns 1 day ago  Professional Traditional Artist
Thanks so much for the :+favelove: on "Arendelle Stuff!" Commissions are open, and I'm having a SALE right now, so toss me a note if you want to get something special for yourself! :heart:
Thank you for the fave!!
AleMyriam 1 day ago  Hobbyist General Artist
thank you 4 addding my Anna & Kristoff to your collection!!Heart La la la la Hug 
I sent an angel to watch over you last night, but it came back and I asked,"why?"...​The angel said,"angels don't watch over angels!" Twenty angels are in your world. Ten of them are sleeping, nine of them are playing and one is reading this message. God has seen you struggling with some things and God says its over. A blessing is coming your way. If you believe in god send this to 14 friends including me, if I don't get it back I guess I'm not one of them. As soon as you get 5 replies, someone you love will quietly surprise you... Not joking. Pass this message on. Please don't ignore it. You are being tested and God is going to fix two big things tonight in your favor. If you believe in God, drop everything and pass it on TOMORROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. DON'T BREAK THIS. SEND THIS TO 14 FRIENDS IN 10 MINUTES IT'S NOT THAT HARD. WHOEVER SENT THIS TO YOU MUST CARE
And thanks for faving, too :meow:
GirlKaito 1 day ago  Hobbyist General Artist
Aww, this is so sweet of you... Thank you... ;u;
You're welcome :3
miyu96 2 days ago  Student
Thank you for the fave!Frozen - HUG! 
jithinjohny 2 days ago  Student Digital Artist
Thanks a lot for the:+fav:..^_^
Wait, did I wish you a happy birthday? :iconpatrickohnoesplz:
GirlKaito 1 day ago  Hobbyist General Artist
Um, I dunno, I don't remember. ^^;
Add a Comment: